Jehovah

For no apparent reason I answered the door. It was the third time the Jehovah's Nazi's came to my house to convert me to their faith. Didn't work. There were two of them. An older African American female who I'm quite sure never got past the sixth grade. Her compatriot was an older white female with glasses and some sort of prayer packet tucked tightly under her right arm.

I told them I was an atheist and not interested in their religion. The older white lady decided to debate. The other woman just stood there with a ridiculous smile, and no input. I asked her if she were familiar with the different factions involved in creating the New Testament. She wasn't. I asked if she were familiar with the similarities of pagan religions (Mithra) to her religion. She wasn't. I asked if she were familiar with the blending of the Old Testament from the documents of the northern tribes of Judah and the southern tribes of Judah, or the fact that in one version of Genesis god is Elohim, which is plural- the Gods- while in the other he is Yahweh, which is singular. She had no idea what I was talking about.

She told me she believes the bible is inerrant, because it says so. I chronicled several errors to her, such as the oldest version of Matthew doesn't contain the resurrection, and the story of Jesus and the prostitute was penciled into a margin five hundred years after his death. She reiterated her belief the bible was without error and provided me with proof of creationism. "Look how beautiful the flowers are. Isn't that enough proof for you?"

I wanted to treat her to a glass of Jones Koolaid.