Nothing makes me happier than when some pious ass gets a heaping dose of, "Your no better than anyone else," shoved in his mouth. The current story about Eliot Spitzer's fondness for prostitutes reminded me of several other political figures who've jettisoned their careers into the toilet. I believe Spitzer fancied himself akin to Eliot Nest as he used his authority in what some have called "the most egregious and unacceptable form of intimidation we've seen in this country in modern times." While I agree with some of the actions he took, especially sticking it to those swindlers at Enron, I have to think Spitzer's ego took over. Using an obscure New York statute, he decided to prosecute cases that technically fell within federal jurisdiction. Now, ironically, using a federal wire-tap law might allow the feds to prosecute Spitzer for using money to transport his high dollar hookers across state lines. At least Eliot thought enough of himself to pay for the "top shelf" prostitutes. The two dollar whores I see on Bragg Street look like they've crawled out from under a bridge.
Another jackass caught up in a sex scandal was good old "Pastor Ted," or Ted Haggard. You might remember his cameo in "Jesus Camp," the most horrifying documentary on brainwashing I've ever seen. Ted was considered one of the top 25 most influential evangelicals in America. He was a staunch supporter of George W. Bush and rallied christians to the voting booth to promote family values. What he failed to mention in his sermons was his affinity for gay prostitutes. A gay hooker outed Haggard after seeing the minister lambaste homosexuals at a rally. Evidently Haggard even bought methamphetamine to use during their sexual exploits in a hotel room. Then, when confronted on camera, he denied the entire allegation stating, "I got massages from him. But I'm not gay. And I had him buy methamphetamine to try it, but I decided against it and poured it down the toilet." Let me get this straight. You met a gay prostitute in a hotel room and didn't bang him? You had him buy meth but didn't use it? C'mon Pastor Ted.
Finally, one of my favorite deniers, Senator Larry Craig, from Idaho. This Republican gem was the second-longest serving member of the United States Congress. He was a staunch conservative who rallied his constituents to the cause of promoting family values. Then, in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport bathroom, he solicited gay sex from an undercover police officer in an adjacent stall. Of all the places I can think of to have sex, I can't fathom this one. How one gets aroused in a men's bathroom stall where it is common to have a pool of urine on the floor and track marks on the seat is beyond me. Then, of course, like everyone else who is caught in the act, he denied doing anything wrong.
We work prostitution projects all the time. The signals Mr. Craig used are very specific and in order. One wouldn't accidently signal by first tapping his foot on the floor. Then tapping his foot into the other stall, eventually touching the other man's foot. Then running his opposite hand under the stall door several times for no apparent reason. These actions are user specific. Mr. Craig's outright denial of homosexuality should be taken as an admission of guilt.
If you're going to have sex with a prostitute, don't fly her across state lines. And certainly don't engage in illegal activity if you've made your entire career screwing other people to the wall. If you are going to smoke meth and bang a gay prostitute, don't give speeches denouncing homosexuals. And if you're going to solicit a stranger for gay sex in a bathroom, make sure it's not a cop.
Another jackass caught up in a sex scandal was good old "Pastor Ted," or Ted Haggard. You might remember his cameo in "Jesus Camp," the most horrifying documentary on brainwashing I've ever seen. Ted was considered one of the top 25 most influential evangelicals in America. He was a staunch supporter of George W. Bush and rallied christians to the voting booth to promote family values. What he failed to mention in his sermons was his affinity for gay prostitutes. A gay hooker outed Haggard after seeing the minister lambaste homosexuals at a rally. Evidently Haggard even bought methamphetamine to use during their sexual exploits in a hotel room. Then, when confronted on camera, he denied the entire allegation stating, "I got massages from him. But I'm not gay. And I had him buy methamphetamine to try it, but I decided against it and poured it down the toilet." Let me get this straight. You met a gay prostitute in a hotel room and didn't bang him? You had him buy meth but didn't use it? C'mon Pastor Ted.
Finally, one of my favorite deniers, Senator Larry Craig, from Idaho. This Republican gem was the second-longest serving member of the United States Congress. He was a staunch conservative who rallied his constituents to the cause of promoting family values. Then, in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport bathroom, he solicited gay sex from an undercover police officer in an adjacent stall. Of all the places I can think of to have sex, I can't fathom this one. How one gets aroused in a men's bathroom stall where it is common to have a pool of urine on the floor and track marks on the seat is beyond me. Then, of course, like everyone else who is caught in the act, he denied doing anything wrong.
We work prostitution projects all the time. The signals Mr. Craig used are very specific and in order. One wouldn't accidently signal by first tapping his foot on the floor. Then tapping his foot into the other stall, eventually touching the other man's foot. Then running his opposite hand under the stall door several times for no apparent reason. These actions are user specific. Mr. Craig's outright denial of homosexuality should be taken as an admission of guilt.
If you're going to have sex with a prostitute, don't fly her across state lines. And certainly don't engage in illegal activity if you've made your entire career screwing other people to the wall. If you are going to smoke meth and bang a gay prostitute, don't give speeches denouncing homosexuals. And if you're going to solicit a stranger for gay sex in a bathroom, make sure it's not a cop.
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