Useless

I love being inundated with useless information from my employer, the city. An entire fleet of people, paid an untold sum of money, corroborate to provide what amounts to completely useless information to be disseminated to the rank and file. This month we received an especially memorable collection of tips:

1) Slip, trip, and fall prevention- Some savvy bureaucrat taught us how to keep from falling on our faces. Thank Allah for that guy. Good thing I didn't throw my trash can full of banana peels I got from the Healthy Food Drive out on the sidewalk, like I originally intended. Somebody could have gotten injured.

2) How to fight winter depression- This memo described how cold, cloudy weather might seduce you into killing yourself. The memo should have been accompanied with a warm bath and a sharp object.

3) Concert in the park- Evidently, to help with the whole Winter depression thing, the city is having some guy named Papabaldi (that's right, Papabaldi) play classical piano in the park. You can skip your lunch hour to watch it! Who needs food when you have Papabaldi? Yay, Papabaldi! I just like saying Papabaldi....