Bravo England!

We get called to a hit and run on Grove Barton Road. An English fellow got drunk, ran off the road, and smashed into a guardrail doing significant damage to his rental car. We get on scene but the car's gone. Another officer finds it parked in several parking spaces in the rear of a local apartment complex.

About twenty minutes later the driver calls 911. He says he was stressed out by the accident so he and his two friends went to the Linwood Grill for a couple of drinks to relax him. He says he's returning to his car post-haste.

I speak with him at the scene. He's trying to act as if his actions were perfectly reasonable. "I left the scene because the car was drivable and I figured I'd report it later. I was stressed out so I had a couple of drinks to relax. You know what I 'm saying." He paused for a moment, looking at me. "What do you think happened, officer?"

"I think you got drunk, crashed your car into a guardrail, then called your friends. Between the three of you, you hatched this master plan. You'd go back to the bar and have a few drinks. That way you could say, 'I didn't drink anything until after the crash,' and we'd have to believe you. Only it didn't work because the interior of the car you crashed smells like a brewery, which kind of debunks your whole excuse. "

We charged him with drunk driving and hit and run. His two idiot friends demanded my badge number so they could complain. Evidently, the police are not allowed to say they don't believe whatever you tell them. According to them I had to take his statement on the good faith it was true.