Conversation With A Killer

I booked a murderer two days ago. Evidently, after learning one of his girlfriends (I say one because he told me he has lots of women, but no personal attachment) was pregnant. According to his charges, he murdered the girl by shooting her in the head. During our conversation I learned about the way he perceives the world.

First he told me he had four children by four different women and was unemployed. I asked him where he worked.

"I'm unemployed. I was trying to get on unemployment," he said.

"How do you afford so many kids?"

"It ain't like that," he replied.

"Like what?"

"I don't pay child support. We still friends," he said, smiling as if I didn't understand the way our civilization works. "You see, if you stay friends with the baby's mama, you don't have to pay. So I make sure to visit mines at least once a month. That way the mama ain't mad and I don't pay no child support."

This guy's 23, unemployed, and has four kids (would have been five but he went ahead and aborted both child and mother).

"So you don't feel responsible for the kids in any way?"

"Naw," he said, laughing. "The mama take care of the baby."

A short time later he further revealed how ignorant a human can be. He is charged with Capital Murder, a crime punishable by death. But he quite seriously asks, "Do you think they'll give me house arrest? I want to chill out for a while before the trial."

"House arrest for murder?" I replied trying not to laugh. "I doubt it."

"What about a lie detector?" He asked. "If I pass a lie detector will I get off?"

Facetiously I respond, "Some sociopaths can beat lie detectors."

He has no idea I'm being sarcastic, just sitting there with a blank stare. It's a damn shame we have to waste tax money keeping this guy alive.