Everything Happens For A Reason

I couldn't be any more sick of these idiots that proclaim, "Everything happens for a reason." Guess what? Very little happens for a reason. I'm so tired of this. Assigning some divine purpose for their mistakes? I can't tell you how many drunk drivers have told me everything happens for a reason. As if Yahweh commanded them to suck down a gallon of Pabst and then crash into a telephone pole. That's what their God is reduced to? When I farted five minutes ago, was that his divine will? Is he so bored he's reduced to micromanaging my bladder? If there were a God that passed his time controlling every minute detail of the universe, I would choose to ignore him for that very reason.