Idiots

This past weekend was a celebration of idiots. Several opposing factions of local gang members met at Sanderson High School to discuss differences in the way each group conducts business. Evidently, discussing topics civilly was not on the agenda, and soon a knife fight erupted involving some thirty people. Five people were stabbed. Most of the combatants were under the age of sixteen, and heavily influenced by older members.


One genius was stabbed in the stomach and leg. Fearing he would get in trouble, he wandered around in a local park, bleeding profusely, for two hours before calling his mother to pick him up. An hour more and he would have bled out. Would have been a shame, seeing how he'll probably ascend to the presidency having dropped out of school at fourteen. Weighing getting in trouble against his own survival made me recall several events where criminal stupidity was almost too much to comprehend.


A couple of years ago two criminals decided to rob a fish market on Capital Blvd. The old guy would sell fresh fish out of a cooler. He was retired, and usually brought his best friend (his dog) with him during business. The old guy was well liked by everyone. So these two fools, who were also best friends, concoct a hair-brained scheme to take the old man's money. They enter the shop and instantly shoot the man's dog. Then, when the old guy doesn't hand over what they want fast enough, they shoot him in the chest. One crook grabs the cash register and runs. The gunman runs behind him. I guess the gunman was sprinting with his hand on the trigger when, for no apparent reason, he shot his best friend in the back of the head. We found the guy dead, draped over the cash register, which was unopened. The old man lived. His dog...not so lucky. And no money was taken.



Another incident involved two brothers. They learned a guy in the neighborhood was carrying large amounts of cash ($100). Instantly they hashed out a genius plan to rob the man. They caught him alone in a secluded area. Savagely attacking him, one of the brothers stabbed the man several times, slashing at him so hard he cut into his own ankle. How this could have happened, nobody knows. They get the man's money and leave. The uncut brother convinces the other to "walk it off." Rather than getting medical attention, they use the money to get drunk. At home, the cut brother decides to call it a night. His last night! The uncut brother finds him dead three hours later. A cut that would not even be considered life threatening in most instances, but due to a lack of treatment, proved fatal. We're gonna miss him.